Ahh, change. Not something that is in my comfort zone. Because it is very unpredictable. Some change is great and necessary…but it is most certainly hard. As we made it through this crazy year, reeling from the COVID pandemic, my head is still spinning trying to process all the change that we have been through. One minute I was working my way through a tax season, still reeling from kicking the year off with a huge change in the structure of the company, going to my two son’s school and extracurricular activities, looking forward to the spring activities and our newly planned summer vacation at the beach (most of which didn’t happen).
Like the rest of the world, we were in our routine and all set to move on through our year. Two and a half months into the year, and it was like we were steamrolled and faced with the reality that nothing will ever be the same. I had no idea that just mere weeks later we would be trapped in our homes on a virtual toilet paper and Lysol hunt. That I would have to work at home for months while simultaneously teaching my two children (this was crazy!) During this time there have been so many waves of emotions that have come with this change alone, much less the rest of the changes that take place in everyday normal life. As a result, I feel a real lack of control which is a struggle for me.
Change happens, whether we like it or not…
There are different types of change in life. Some we welcome, and some change comes with us kicking and screaming to avoid it. I like to think of it as “forced growth” …and sometimes we are not ready for it, or even blindsided by it. Sometimes we recognize that a change is necessary and initiate that. Whether or not to get married, start a family, deal with extended family issues, a health challenge, unexpected changes in jobs, or changing jobs…there are so many ways to change. I admit personally that I have not always dealt with change well. My younger life was quite chaotic and as an adult, I crave routine and order. When things do not happen that way (like life, hello!), it takes me a bit to process it all positively.
It took me many years to learn not to take all change into a negative direction, but to look for the positive. I always tell my children when they struggle with a change to “look for the lesson”. Many times, I look back after something that I thought was so hard and was glad that the change occurred. HINDSIGHT IS THE BEST!
COVID 19 is not the only kind of change that we are ever going to have in our lives. People in the world have different challenges, but as a whole, we face many similar types of change. Families, jobs, world issues, crime, similar hopes, and dreams.
Some things to help with change…
Here are some methods of dealing with change that are helpful to me, and I hope that they are helpful for you:
Think back to your earliest memories as a child. Now, look how far you have come, and more importantly how much you have changed. Although hard, change is constant and a necessary part of life. Embrace it!
When things turn out differently than you hope, it does not feel good. It is disappointing. Sometimes sad. Frustrating. Recognize it for what it is and find a way to get your feelings out. Talk about it, yell about it, cry about it. Whatever you need to do to come to acceptance.
CHANGE IS GROWTH
This is something that took me many years to recognize. For a long time, I always would take the negative route with change, complained about it, or tried not to accept it. I have learned in life is that if things do not go your way, that is okay! It is meant for you to go another direction. No, you don’t have to like it…. but recognize that every time that a change happens (good or bad), you grow as a person!
IT IS OKAY TO STRUGGLE WITH CHANGE
When change is sudden and not unexpected, it can feel unbearable. You realize that the reality is, that we are not in control of much of anything in this world. Sometimes if you are forced to change, it is painful. It is okay to take time to grieve for what was. Take time to process and acknowledge that you liked the way things were and did not want anything different. That is a totally normal response. But after processing and grieving, let it go. Check out my post on wandering to find some ideas for getting out and clearing your head. Giving yourself a mental break could help to give yourself time and space to adjust to change.
LOOK FOR THE LESSON
In my mind, this is the most important thing of all regarding change. I tell my children this very thing every time there is a big change. LOOK FOR THE LESSON. Each time there is a shift in your life, a change in the world, look for the lessons that come along with it. With COVID, our family has learned lessons that I believe many others have learned as well. We were doing too much “running”, always on the go. Not having enough family time, but just trying to get through every day. We use that lesson and do things a little differently now. We also learned that it was okay if we missed the big trip and missed many things that we would normally do in a year. As long as we are together, things are going to be okay.
Well, I hope that this message finds you well and helps you to think about change, and how you can work through it positively. It is my goal to inspire others to find healthy ways to get through all of life’s challenges while you grow, learn, and be the best that we can be, individually and together. There are so many negative and scary things in the world that I want to start a movement of inspiration so that it okay to talk about life’s challenges, and how that we can best deal with them and become better people. To expand on the subject of change, take a look at my post on
Stephanie says
Love the quote “forced growth” because change does push us to pivot and that can lead to growth. Great post!