In addition to inspiration, accountability is a goal of this blog. I mean, it’s in the name, right? And accountability for your happiness is one of those things. And like everything else, there are many different types of accountability and interpretations of what people think accountability is. None of those are necessarily wrong, but I am sharing my version of one type of accountability in hopes of inspiring others to take the responsibility for their own happiness.
Like many subjects, I learned this one the hard way. I mentioned before that my childhood was chaotic. Always filled with drama, ups and downs of happiness and sadness. My thought process was modeled after those that came before me, that things were always going to go wrong and that is just how it was for our family. It was a very negative mindset. That made sense to a child. As an adult, I learned that I have choices and can use those choices to change my situation.
What brings you happiness, exactly?
This idea that you are accountable for your own happiness brings forth questions. What makes you happy? Well, this is different for every person. Is it money? Or is it success? Having the freedom to choose what to do with your time? Family or friends? All of the above? I don’t have all the answers to what happiness is for you. And sometimes even for me. But what I do know is that it is not dependent on other people. They have a choice as well, and you do not have to follow that.
You may think that it is a little crazy to say that. Other people can cause unhappiness daily. Miserable or jealous friends or co-workers, significant others with issues, addiction, depression, health problems…..there are so many things. But the reality is that you do not have to be a victim of your circumstances. You can make a CHOICE on HOW TO REACT to every situation. Take the high road and the glass half full approach. Choose not to be negative, no matter what the situation. From experience, I know that it is not worth holding on to anger and resentment towards other people. Let me repeat that….IT IS NOT WORTH IT. And the sooner you start looking at your options in a situation, you can make a better choice and I promise that a good choice will make you a happier person.
Here are some things keep in mind to help you to be accountable for your own happiness:
- Know the things that light you up in life and try to fit those into your weeks as much as you can.
- Do not allow yourself to be sucked into another person’s negative energy.
- Never take a “victim mindset” and expect that bad things will happen because they have before.
- Work on having a “thick skin” of letting the little things that get to you roll-off.
- Try to spend time with people who think in a more positive way.
- Realize that your life is limited, and you are wasting precious time when you are negative.
- Practice gratitude because if you look around, I am certain that you can find something to be grateful for.
Is this realistic?
I know that some of those may seem harsh or unattainable. There have been times in my life where I got bogged down in grief and anger. But I have learned a few lessons that have forced me to think otherwise. One of those was the death of two very important people in my life, in short order. It was my mother and stepfather. I was in my mid-30’s and when my mother died was pregnant with my first child which added to the sadness of losing her.
There are so many lessons with every situation…
Up until that point in life, most people that I knew that passed away were older. So at least you felt like they had a chance for a good life, a long life. But this time, one entire set of parents died in their early 50’s. Gone within 2.5 years of each other from different cancers. Lives cut too short. My oldest son is now 14 years old. I have had a lot of time to process those losses, and most certainly have learned some life lessons.
The above mentioned is one of those lessons. Realize that your time on this earth is limited and make the most of it! You never know when things will end so do not get bogged down in things that do not matter. There will always be challenges, difficult people, and sad events. Do your best to push through the bad and focus on the good. At the end of your life, you will want to remember the good things. On grieving a death, I choose to focus on honoring their memories and doing my best to pass the good memories, pictures, and traditions on to my own children. Now and then when I look at my older son, I see a little of my mom in there and smile.
It really can help with happiness to let more things go…
Another lesson that has helped to create more happiness and contentment in my life is to let go of sensitivity and have thicker skin. There are so many things in the world that go on that could get you upset to the point of not being able to sleep thinking about it. At the end of the day, I learned that it was not worth it. The other parties are not lying awake at night worried about it so why should I? Now I feel that nothing is personal, and I am a lot happier for it. When other people are rude it is about them, not me.
All of the above-mentioned things made a difference in my life and in my own personal happiness. Practicing gratitude daily, avoid negative people, and try to find something positive in every situation. Also stressing less about change is helpful. Never behaving like a victim and let things that annoy me “roll-off”. Take a look at my post on adjusting to change to get some ideas on how to cope with change affecting your happiness. I hope that these things will help inspire you to focus on what is important in your life and find a little more happiness too!
Mrs. Accountable
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