I grew up in the eighties as part of Generation X. So many of my memories of family dinners are ones of being at TV tables in the living room. I grew up with divorced parents and at my mom’s house, the living room is just how we did it. I hardly ever remember eating as a family in the dining room, although we had one. As a child of divorced parents, I had the unique perspective of having two experiences for many things. Two Thanksgiving dinnerss, two Christmas gatherings, two of many things. And two different experiences for family dinners.
As I had mentioned, at my mom’s house growing up we had dinner in the living room at TV tables. Not that there was much to watch in the eighties (pre-cable if anyone remembers that lol). It was an exciting time during that period as we welcomed MTV, Atari, and cable into our lives. But for many years we gathered around and watched Sunday night Disney movies and had dinner. It wasn’t necessarily bad…. but just impersonal and not much interaction with each other.
It was two different experiences…
On a couple of weekends a month, we went over to my dad’s house for the weekend. And it was a different experience. My father had remarried and when we visited there was a bit more order in the house. And one thing that I remember about that time was the family dinners. We ate at a large table, and all at the same time. The meals were pretty predictable but we at without the television on and so the focus shifted to each other. We talked about lots of different topics about what was going on in our lives, and I remember a lot of laughter and funny stories. It is funny that these dinners with my siblings were many years ago, but even when we get together today as adults we still talk about some of the same funny stories. It is something that stuck with me.
Having this unique experience (or not so unique in today’s world of divorce), I have been able to compare and contrast family dinners. Now I will say, times are different now. When I was growing up, we did activities such as dance and scouts, but it felt like we spent less time doing those activities than in today’s world. Now, having two children of my own, it feels like we are all consumed with activities for the children. A few nights a week we spend at activities and it is hard to sit down as a family for even just a short time. Between homework, getting ready to go, and actually eating, some days it seems impossible.
I am trying to do things a different way…
What my family does is to try and control what we can and let go of the rest. So yes, we just understand that a family dinner together is going to be hard. But on those other days…. we try and make it happen. I feel that it is worthwhile to try and give my family the memories that I have of family dinners where we take time and listen to each other.
Here are some things that I believe are beneficial results of eating dinner at the table as a family:
- The kids have a chance to feel seen and heard- I think that this is the most important benefit of eating together at the table as a family. I believe that the most important thing that every person in the world wants is to be seen and heard. Sitting down together for a meal give each person a chance to talk and feel heard without the many interruptions of today’s digital world.
- It is a good time to talk about foods and health – Family dinners together are good times to talk to the kids about food groups and try to educate them about healthy choices. Make it a discussion so that they understand that there are many options available.
- Sitting together as a family gives us a chance to hear about how things are going at school and with friends – I have to wonder if there are others out in the world like myself….when I pick the kids up from school and ask “how was your day” and get the all-encompassing response of “good” which tells me absolutely nothing. Family dinner is a great time to expand on that and give the kids a chance to talk about what they are working on and what challenges they are having.
Here are some fun ideas for family dinners:
- Have a themed dinner – This one is my favorite. Sometimes we have “appetizer night” and have meatballs, buffalo chicken dip, and everyone picks an appetizer that they like, and we make that for dinner. Other nights we have meals themed around the holidays like Halloween or Christmas, and also birthdays. Any themed dinner brings an added layer of fun to a family dinner.
- Dinner with friends – This idea for family dinner is fun as well. There is no better way to find out what is going on in your kid’s life than to have a friend over. There will be lots of giggles and fun involved.
- “Let the kids help” dinners – This one is useful in many ways. It lets the kids have choices with their food as well as learn cooking skills. They will be adults before you know it and they will need cooking schools. I have two boys and I am a firm believer that they should know how to make more than ramen noodles when they get out into the world.
Family dinners can add another layer of togetherness to all families. There are many more ideas on how to make it creative and fun. And guess what! Don’t have a family to have dinner with you say? Well, make one! Invite over a few friends or family members and start your own dinner club. Have a fall-themed dinner, a potluck, or get takeout. The point of it is to be together and socialize. Try it, I know that you won’t regret it!
For other ideas on spending time with family, check out my post on family traditions.
Mrs. Accountable
Venaugh says
I think family dinner time is a great thing. I’ve recently tried to start this, it’s a bit slow going as there’s not much going on but great bonding time.
Myranda says
Love love love this! Family dinners are so important to us and a staple in our house. We do usually have pizza and a movie one night on the weekends though too
Tracy says
Indeed, family dinner is really important. Thank you for a nice article!
Syl says
Great article. In todays world family dinners are rare. I grew up eating mostly at the dining room table for dinners as a family. With all the busyness in todays world it does make it difficult. However, even 1-2 days a week is a must if you can make it work. Its so worth it. Great ideas and tips on how to have a family dinner.