WHY SHOULD YOU EMPOWER YOUR TEENAGER? THERE ARE MANY REASONS TO DO THIS.
To empower your teenager is to give them the authority to make decisions, entrust them to problem-solving, and educate them on making good decisions. And speaking from my own experience, it does not come naturally to parents. When you first become a parent, you are responsible for every little of your child’s life. As they get older, the goal is for them to gain independence, but that is easier said than done. Sometimes it is easier to “do it yourself”, and sometimes it is more comfortable to do things for them keep them closer. It makes them happy to be catered to, and parents love to do it. But this strategy can and will backfire. If you do not authorize your child to make their own choices when they are able to, they will not know how to do it in the future when they need to.
To show you an example that your teens are capable of, take a look at this Ted Talk by 17-year-old Sanjana Buddi. She has accomplished amazing things at such a young age!
Educating and enabling your child to problem solve with their own skills will most certainly equip them for success in the future. To do this is to invest in their future. But for parents often enabling the teens to make decisions is to give up their own control of situations. This is scary and uncomfortable at times. So teenage empowerment is difficult but so rewarding. When you see it put into action and know that you have done well and given them the gift of independence.
NOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU SHOULD EMPOWER YOUR TEENAGER, HOW DO YOU DO IT?
There are many ways to encourage and entrust your teen to make the best decisions. But how do you get started? You love them so much and only want the best for your teens. This is the way to do it. Remember that you are raising your children to be responsible adults. Anything that you can teach them, and any lessons learned will be valuable tools for their future. Think of it as “filling a toolbox” to send them off as adults and have them make the best possible decisions.
10 STEPS TO EMPOWER YOUR TEENAGER
- BE THE EXAMPLE – By setting a good example of empowerment for your child, you are showing them a direct example of that behavior to emulate. Let them see you step into your power by trying new things, overcoming difficult situations and achieving goals. You are the best example that they could have.
- TEACH THEM TO BE SELF SUFFICIENT (under your watchful eye) -This step is hard for most parents, including myself. I want my boys (tween and teen) to enjoy these carefree years free of stress. But this is the best time to teach them to learn skills to be independent. Chores, helping to cook, basically any type of household task that you can demonstrate and let them help (yet it is sometimes a mess), builds their confidence little by little and encourages them to be self-reliant.
- WORK ON LETTING GO – Cue the crying emoji! The childhood years feel like they fly by and letting go is so hard. I must often remind myself that it is the natural order of things for children to pull away. But letting go a little at a time allows your teen to make their own mistakes and learn from them. It is sometimes (many times) hard to watch.
- LET THEM CHOOSE SOME THINGS FOR THE FAMILY – Allowing your teenager to make some choices for the family makes them feel heard, important, and that their voice matters. It can be simple things such as choosing dinner, a movie, or event.
- VALUE YOUR CHILD’S OPINION – Even if you do not agree with it, and sometimes you will not, authorizing your child to have an opinion that is heard and valued is so helpful. If they feel like valued people at home, they will carry that into school and workplaces.
And if those weren’t hard enough…
- TEACH YOUR CHILD TO HAVE BOUNDARIES AND TO VALUE OTHER PEOPLES BOUNDARIES – Having a boundary and learning to stand up to protect that is very empowering for any person, and especially the teen crowd. They will encounter situations where they will have to go against what peers want. To be able to set boundaries for themselves, and to respect other people’s boundaries is a healthy and important part of growing up.
- LET THEM CHOOSE THEIR INTERESTS (and support that!) – Children will have many interests. And parents have many interests that they wish for their children. I see this a lot and the child just does the activities that the parents want. Exploring and trying different things is so important for teens. It is their time to experiment and see what they like. So many times (cannot say this enough) they are not encouraged to do this because parents will not support the exploration. When those children become adults, they experience regret, choose the wrong careers, and have feelings that they missed out. Please try and let your teen choose for themself.
And the hardest thing is next…
- EMPOWER YOUR TEENAGER BY LETTING THEM FAIL (and be their safe place to land) – Failure is part of success and children need to know that there is no shame in it. Sometimes you need to try and fail many times to succeed. It is okay. Encourage your teenager to try new things with the understanding that they will fail sometimes, and when they do be there to support.
- TEACH THEM TO TAKE PRIDE IN THEMSELVES – This comes naturally to some and not to others. By setting expectations for bedroom cleanliness and personal hygiene, you are educating them to take pride in themselves and their surroundings. Also, let them help with home improvement projects. They not only learn how to use a few tools, but to also take pride in their home and help to keep it up.
- TALK TO THEM ABOUT USING THEIR INSTINCTS AKA “GUT FEELINGS” – Talk to your teen about this feeling and how they can use it to protect themselves in certain situations. If things do not feel right, if they get “weird vibes”, these could be signs to remove themselves from that situation.
If you want more ideas on how to empower your teenager, Today.com has a nice article (written during the onset of COVID) giving ideas of lifeskills for teens! It has some great tips of things that you can work on day to day to add to your teen’s toolbox of skills. You can check out that article here…
https://www.today.com/health/teenagers-stuck-home-here-are-13-life-skills-they-can-t176759
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Empowering your teenagers is a must for their future success. They need all the help that you can give to be confident and successful. They need to practice making decisions, practicing and failing, and knowing that even if they fail it is okay. Educating them on making responsible decisions and trusting their feelings will help keep them safe when you are not with them. Entrusting children to do these things under your watch is the best way so that you can help (but not help too much). While it is hard to let go of the control, know that you have taught your children well. You have enabled them to be successful adults. Remember that the time to start all of this is now. The younger that you start, the more time you must build those independence muscles. You can do this!
START TODAY WITH LEADING BY EXAMPLE AND TAKING THE TIME TO FILL YOUR TEENAGER’S “TOOLBOX” OF LIFE SKILLS. THESE WILL HELP THEM TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL ADULTS!
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Nicole says
Great ideas about empowering teens to find their own way through life. I think letting go is one of the hardest parts of parenting!
cbrooks0312@comcast.net says
I agree! It is hard every day to let go a little more.
dEE | gRAMMY'S gRID says
Thanks so much for linking up at the Unlimited Link Party 33. Pinned!